I dreamt of a perfect friendship

A perfect friendship.

wad does that suppose mean?

I don know myself to be honest, because i am not a perfect friend.

I guess everyone has a different idea of a perfect friendship.

I had a few great friends, some I am really thankful for, they had shaped my life and ideas, molded me into someone better than yesterday. I thank the Lord for letting them into my life.

But there are some that really leave a dent in my heart, painful enough to let me see the world in another light. They had taken a piece of me away, some I am still friends with, but once in a blue moon, my fist tightens as i am plagued by memories of his deeds in one still night.

The road to a perfect friendship is long and hard, sometimes i find it harder than finding a mate. Because boundaries are ill-defined, expectations are different, feelings are unequal. The closer you think you get to it, the harder you fall when you realised you r not. But when u think u do, its grand.

Wad is a prefect friendship to me?

To be honest, I want balance.

I want reciprocation.

I want to talk to them without feeling that i am wasting their time. I want them to talk to me with general interest. I want to share secrets with them while they share theirs. I want them to look straight in my eyes and said,"you know, we r good." and i will just smile, silently acknowledging that statement.

To put it simply, I want an elder brother, bonded by blood and trust.

I don know.

Sorry, just sudden pondering.