Vaginas, vaginas everywhere

I am currently stationed in the land of vaginas. 

It's a land of mystical wonders.

Prior to the beginning if the rotation, a friend who knows I am gay grabbed my shoulder. Vincent, I have to warn you. It's gooey, bloody and disgusting and it usually fat, unattractive women, you had to put your fingers inside. You sure you r okay? 

Well... Not tat I am do much if I am not. -.-" 

I tell you.... It's.... Weird -.- 

*shivers* 

I find it a bit uncomfortable. But I guess if I am comfortable with the idea of ppl sticking their fingers in anuses, I suppose I should be okay with the idea of ppl stuffing down things into vaginas. I am not sexist lol. 

But don expect me to do tat willingly lolx 

A night after a party

hey guys its been a while since i posted something, cuz i am very busy with my rotation, will talk abt it sometime in the future.

Today its more of a genuine rant abt things, since it is my blog and despite how childish i felt abt this but i don really bother haha.

I was invited to a mini party ish gathering today for someone's birthday. This person... well i am not sure how to catergorise him, but i guess i will explore tat in the future, but yeah i was invited by his friends.

Throughout the party, I struggled a bit, i am not quite sure y. I was tired and uncomfortable, but i tried my best to mix around, so i guess its not obvious to other friends.

I think... the main problem is that... I felt alone in the whole party.

Our Asian batch was divided into two main fractions, the directs and the transfers (ppl who came into the batch in their third year). And i was the only one from the direct batch.

So....

Its kinda annoying to be honest, i was able to mixed with them, but I had to pretend to ignore their inside jokes, their tease with each other, their playful bickers, their sudden whispers so that I wont hear their mini secrets, their next grand plans of hanging out. The wave lengths are all wrong, and i had to tune myself.

I was welcomed, but was treated as an outsider at the same time. Then the cake came, and they presented their present to the birthday boy. All the joy while I just look on.

I do appreciate their gesture of including me, the sole dude from the other cohort to this gathering. But looking at them, from time to time, it makes me feel tat: whats the point? Why i have to put myself through this, i might as well go back to my comfort zone, with friends from my own fractions.

Even after a whole year.... (we r fourth year now) i guess things don really change. Then y bother?

At the end of the day, as i parted ways with all of them, i will still be alone, walking back to my home.

As the birthday boy went on hugging each and everyone of his friends out of thanks, i just silently moved out of the way, because i don think i deserved it and i doubt he noticed anyway.

Am i sad?

Am i disappointed?

Mayb i am. But mostly i am just tired.

But looking at the bright side, at least they invited me in the first place, mayb someday, someday, i can actually be part of that gang.

One year left, i highly doubt so lol. I suppose we will part in separate ways.

Mayb i should jz use my time to play more games or invest in someone who cares rather then spending in on empty relationships lol. But one can hope, but hope is a dangerous thing to hold on to.

Life is hard. z.

Happy 3 year anniversaryyy

Three years.

It's that long.

Long enuf to get married lol. No bear, I am not hinting anything hahahahhaha.

The future is still long and hard. I don't know how this bubble will maintain itself when we are no longer in the same country. 

I am afraid actually of the unknown past. But I should focus on the positive here. It's three years, it's quite a feat compare to a lot of couples (or ex couple) I know. 

So for now, bear I hope we have many more years to come. 

Happy three year anniversary. 

Skiing: I was told I could hav died

Bear was quite mad when I told him this. But it really did not occur to me that I dodged a bullet there. -.-

Back to my skiing adventure. It was the last day of my skiing trip, and there was a snow storm. But put in a snow storm, slippery slopes and a couple of hot blooded guys, you obviously hav the recipe of a disaster. 

So yeah, a few of us went to the slopes despite the snow storm because it is our last day. And we deliberately chose a slope we never ski before and a level higher than wad we use to ski. Because.... It's the last day! 

The cable car was closed, it's easily a warning for us to turn back but noooooo we don give a crap. We took the chair lift which oddly was up and running. 

Anyway, when we are up there I tell ya, it was literally a survival movie. I can't see anything but snow. The bits of ice were piercing my face. Even after a few days I can still feel a later of dead cell layers on my cheeks. 

It was a horrible experience; I took off my goggles because the snow blocks the vision and it fogged up quite easily. Had to ski with my eyes half closed (Ching Chong mode) so tat the snowflakes won't enter my eyes. 

The slope is long, very long. There are 31 segments. The slope was marked by a series of blue sticks on both side of the road. The road is quite wide as I can't see markers from both sides within my sight. 

Although I am a beginner, I have above average skiing skill in the group. Due to poor arrangement, I ended up skiing alone because the better ones are either in the front or at the way back to help the struggling ones. 

So here's me, skiing in a new territory, all alone with my eyes half closed, without goggles in a snow storm.

Really, wad could go wrong? lol

So i tried a tactic, I skied in a huge S shape, I started off from the marker on the right and skied slantly towards the left, when i reached the marker on the left i took a sharp S and skied to the right. After a few junctions, I plopped myself onto the snow gently cuz i don want to tired my legs, sat up-straight and tried to see if i am heading in the right direction, then i repeated the whole process. Here's a pic in case my poor English confused you lol. 

Well, this seemed to be working for 3,4 times, albeit very tiring. Then one time i plopped myself down the snow and sat upstraight again, i saw something unnerving.

I saw two markers within my visual field.

This was different because there's is a good deal of distance between two markers, I usually need a good ten seconds of skiing to see another marker. 

So this could only mean that the road ahead is very very very narrow. 

I kept looking backwards, hoping the ones at the back had catch up, but to no avail. I shouted:"GUYS I DON KNOW WHERE TO GO!!!!" But there's no answer. 

"Okay," I told myself. "Stay calm. Even though this is a harder slope its still for amateurs. If its narrow, it shouldn't be too steep."

So i gathered my courage and skied right between the two markers. 

I immediately noticed the difference of the snow consistency under my and I started tumbling, I cant control my skis. Confused and nervous, i sank lower and lower as the powdered snow cannot take in my weight. 

I was determined to continue skiing again when my friend called out:"Bunny!!! You r off course!!!"

Wuddddd?

Apparently the slope took a sharp turn, the two markers i was looking at were actually on the same side. D=

So i voluntarily skied out the course. And given that this is 2000m high and most of the sides are cliffs, I was very lucky that i din ski off one (the cliffs i mean). And if my fren din make it in time and i cont skiing from where i tumbled, I will eventually ski off the mountains. 

Woaaaaahhhhhhhh

So moral of the story, DON SKI on a new slope. You may perish. 

lol. 

I need to start praying now zzz. 
  

I dreamt of a perfect friendship

A perfect friendship.

wad does that suppose mean?

I don know myself to be honest, because i am not a perfect friend.

I guess everyone has a different idea of a perfect friendship.

I had a few great friends, some I am really thankful for, they had shaped my life and ideas, molded me into someone better than yesterday. I thank the Lord for letting them into my life.

But there are some that really leave a dent in my heart, painful enough to let me see the world in another light. They had taken a piece of me away, some I am still friends with, but once in a blue moon, my fist tightens as i am plagued by memories of his deeds in one still night.

The road to a perfect friendship is long and hard, sometimes i find it harder than finding a mate. Because boundaries are ill-defined, expectations are different, feelings are unequal. The closer you think you get to it, the harder you fall when you realised you r not. But when u think u do, its grand.

Wad is a prefect friendship to me?

To be honest, I want balance.

I want reciprocation.

I want to talk to them without feeling that i am wasting their time. I want them to talk to me with general interest. I want to share secrets with them while they share theirs. I want them to look straight in my eyes and said,"you know, we r good." and i will just smile, silently acknowledging that statement.

To put it simply, I want an elder brother, bonded by blood and trust.

I don know.

Sorry, just sudden pondering.

Skiing skiing

As I said I am now trying out skiing in France (French Alps ppl!) for the first time in my life. 

The first two days was torture I tell you. Torture. It much more painful than I thought. For the Malaysians out there, have you guys try skating? Did you guys complained about the skate boots being too tight? 

Well. This is ten times as worse. And I am skiing for five days. So imagine my horror the moment I fit my legs into the shoes as I can foresee myself limping for many weeks to come.

You start learning how to stop and snow plow AKA brake to your hearts content. However it's taxing to the knee so you have your legs being wobbly after a day's worth of hard work. 

I hav to say if anyone of you are going to ski do buy paddings for your tibial (front of your calfs) called tibial protector. I can't be bother to explain. But please heed my warning. 

Anyways, you started to get the basics, you really start to appreciate harder, scarier tracks. 

As you progress through the slopes, it gets harder and harder. It gets longer and longer. I actually had to ski through a track for one and half hours. It's no longer just your legs screaming, it's your brain, as you have to concentrate while skiing around the white steep mountains. 

And when u reach the bottom, you will b like whoa, did I really just skied that slope? It was a satisfying and proud moment. 

The sad thing is i can't really take photos to scare bear. Hehe. But I really hav fun and I really recommend all the speed demons to try it out. 

I don really like science students

Hey guys, sorry for the overhaul, but i bet you guys are celebrating ching chong year anyway.

I am having my very first ski trip just to wash off the cny blues, so a bunch of us went for a cool trip filled with snow and ice.

Skiing is damn painful i tell you, but tat is now wad i wanna rant for now.

So we gathered together during the night. Everyone was complaining about being tired and we should play some mindless games.

A few proposals came and went, but there were no conclusions.

Then one of the guy brought his deck of cards, and apparently he had used them as flashcards long time ago, hence all of them had drug names on it.

So guess wad they ended up playing.

Yeap, they ended up doing  medicine charades.

"guys seriously?" you can hear me lamenting.

But no.... they were too busy guessing wad is the side effect of vigabatrin.

And i was so annoyed, i just walked off despite their pleads so that i can just curled up and read a book.

I don know if i am impolite, but man this is one reason i hate traveling with science students, especially medics. Because everything will end up being medicine this medicine that, everything will be bones and joints and wad not stuff. A lot of them like to feel smart and wad can make them feel that way? By talking abt wad they have been by harding throughout the years. I passed my exams, I want my vacation, cant we just not be that kind of ppl who cant seem to see that knowledge isnt everything? That life doesn't revolves around you?

I am a firm believer that one should not showcase wad they know unless asked. Hence, if i started to talk sciency stuff to you, its just basically i have nothing left to talk to you about.

I am quite pissed off, because they thought i was being silly, merajuk-ing if you may. But i guess in a way they are right, why i hav to force myself to immerse in ppl who is studious? I am not someone they would give a piece of themselves to, it works both ways. I should expect them to be wad i want them to be. But i am frustrated, because i feel quite alone in this. When I see ppl actually referred themselves as a games where they only play one two hours of dota and sleep before 1 a.m. I almost died laughing. I played games for days without sleep and i had tons of sony / nitendo consoles plus a mega gaming pc to boot. And i don call myself a gamer. I don label ppl who drinks a few more cups than I just because I don drink and clubbing isnt my thing. I don think that talking to science ppl is a relief because they apparently "share my level of intelligence" (seriously, someone actually told me this.)

If i wanna make a sweeping statement, I gotta say, science frens, are mostly egoistic and always have slight delusion of grandeur.

Gosh. Life is sad.

I gotta see more ppl, but being abroad, you don really hav much choice. I gotta face reality at some point.

sighh.

I gotta grow up i guess?

Flappy Bird!!

Happy Chinese New Year from Bunny & Bear :D

Bunny is out in the jungle playing with the snow while I'm primarily staying I'm the cave hibernating zzzz I'm so glad I'm still in the jungle, away from the annoying relatives and their questions.

Have fun everyone! Meanwhile try breaking this high-score!